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4 Parenting Tips For Understanding A Temper Tantrum Child
Are you still troubled by your child’s temper tantrum? When you’ve tried everything, what can you do? In this book, you’ll find tips to improve your parenting skills with difficult children.
Pretend you have this parenting question:
Your son is three years old and has a bad temper. He simply won’t listen to anything you tell him to do and blatantly ignores anything you ask him to do. He will also ignore you if you tell him not to do something. You’ve tried everything from gentle persuasion, to bribing him, sending him to his room, taking his favorite toy from him, etc., but nothing seems to work.
You worry that he will be labeled as a behavior problem when he goes to school.
If you’re the parent of a child with a tantrum, don’t treat him as a behavior problem. Be sure to view his behavior as a challenge that you need to address. Why? You are a parent.
Parenting Tips~ There are 4 reasons why children misbehave and lose their temper:
power ~ they want to do whatever they want
revenge ~ they want revenge on you
Attention ~ they want to be noticed
Helpless ~ they want you to do for them what they can easily do
As a parent, your job is to find out why your child is throwing a tantrum. This will guide your actions.
2 important parenting issues for dealing with tantrums:
What positive benefits does my child get from his behavior?
think about it. Discuss with your spouse, a trusted friend, or a child counselor.
Then ask yourself:
How does he get positive benefits without underperforming?
The answers to these two questions should give you some idea of what action to take. Maybe you take advantage of time-outs, strip privileges, ignore him, or build intimacy with him when he’s not blowing up. Whatever you choose to do, be consistent.
Examples of tantrum questions:
Suppose you tell your child, “Put away your toys. We’re going to have dinner soon.” He yells, “No, I don’t want dinner.” He starts screaming and throws his toys instead Put them away. What does he want? Is it power, revenge, attention, helplessness, or both?
If he loses his temper a lot, you’re the best person to answer what he really wants. This is your challenge. No one knows and understands him better than you. This is also your chance to teach him discipline and get him off the tantrum behavior.
Grumpy Summary:
When you ask yourself the above two questions, don’t forget to act with kindness and determination. When you get to know your child and make good choices, you also shape your own character.
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