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Am I Flirting Too Much?

A good friend of mine thinks she flirts too much. I said no.

One day she was waiting for her take-out food in some restaurant and noticed that the chef was looking at her. In response she smiled. He then asked how she was doing. She was there again a few days later picking up an order, and he came up to her and asked her what she did (for a living) and then proceeded to introduce himself, etc. This is the third or fourth time he’s tried to approach her even though she’s wearing her wedding band and doing it!

Another copy she was in line for the ladies’ room and there was also a line for the men’s room. She said to one of the men waiting, “That’s not something you see every day, guys wait!” Next thing she knew, he came off the line and asked her if she had a boyfriend.

Once she was followed to her parking spot by a guy who was loading her car, a TV I think it was, but regardless he went out on her. After she told him she was married, he asked but are you “happily married?”

“Maybe I’m clueless and all it takes is a smile or a hello to a guy and they think you’re interested or hitting on someone,” she says.

Ladies: I want you to know, no, it’s not you, it’s our boys. We are so excited when we get a reaction or response from a girl that we usually take it the wrong way. We are so used to being rejected and ignored that if a girl, and an attractive one at that, gives us any moment of the day, we get all giddy and excited like a 12 year old school girl and take it too far too soon. Don’t take offense or be weird because we usually mean well. It’s just that most men don’t know how to handle the situation and/or aren’t good talkers and end up ruining any chance we had, if there was one. We lack any ability to distinguish being beautiful from flirting, and it can be scary. We mean no harm.

I know girls who have stopped smiling and talking to men in public all together when they are alone. It may sound crazy, but more often than you can believe, they have been followed through the store, or even scarier to the parking lot and have been accosted there.

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