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There are many reasons that you have given to eat as many minutes in a day. Storm clouds do it for me. They triggered a memory of when I lived in Florida and went deep sea fishing in Key West. When a storm was imminent, we would pull our boat into a nearby atoll and wait out the storm while eating fresh fish sandwiches and drinking cold beer. Sandwiches are finger foods, which now I don’t have, and I don’t drink beer anymore, but the smell of a storm can be a powerful trigger for me. I haven’t acted on it, but the memory is a tempting trigger, though.
A splash of red wine on white pants can’t trigger an overeating episode nor can the car not start, a flat tire, and your cell phone losing signal at 4:58 pm when you have to reach someone before 5: 00 pm But these things have a cumulative effect, and all the mini-ads have the potential to become maxi-eating responses at the end of the day.
You might stumble because you saw your favorite dessert on a restaurant menu. Or a celebration can convert an attempted no to an emphatic yes as soon as you hear a champagne cork pop from a bottle.
“I can resist anything but temptation,” said Oscar Wilde.
Consider the reasons you are tempted to eat. Highlight or circle the ones you respond to. There are many and they are varied.
Do you eat because you are hungry? Do you even know what hunger is? Or do you eat because you are lonely, tired, angry or bored?
Think of all the reasons you eat that have nothing to do with hunger.
Maybe you eat because you are: it’s your birthday, my birthday, our birthday, or groundhog day; or why you are down: sad, or pained. You can eat because there is, or someone else eats, why not you? Is food easily available in your office, your home? Do you eat in your car?
Are you eating because of good news? Bad news? No news? A man said he eats during the news.
You may find yourself eating certain foods because they came with a restaurant dinner or others because they came free with your plane ticket or hotel room. There is bread on the table in a restaurant, peanuts on the plane, chocolates on your pillow, and you think: I will never go through this again.
For some, food is seen as a reward: I’ve been this good all day. I didn’t have breakfast. I didn’t have lunch. I’ll just have this side of meat for dinner. Of course, if you feel stuffed, bloated, and not so good about yourself, then eating excessively is not a reward. It is a punishment.
When a young woman used the excuse that she ate before going to the ballet, I asked, did you dance? Unless she was dancing on that stage, she ate too much for dinner. She ate more than she could burn.
For many, food has become a socially accepted drug. It seems to numb the tensions and stresses of your life. Maybe you use food to get rid of feelings and thoughts you don’t want to hear or think or escape.
Do you eat when you are frustrated, disappointed or angry? One man told me he threw away a box of cookies and a pint of ice cream when the courts awarded his ex-wife a large divorce settlement. I wanted to know if he had regained control of the food when he realized he was hurting himself.
Although eating does not change the result of anything, but your waistline and self-esteem, you can still eat to cheer up when you are down. Or you don’t feel that way alone when you are without company. Or to socialize: you don’t want to be left out. You can keep eating even if your clothes are too tight and you huff and puff when you walk. That’s part of addiction: you keep doing what you’re doing even if there are negative consequences.
Perhaps you eat because you are tired or have to fill unstructured time, such as evenings and weekends, or because you experience family, business, money, or peer pressure: (“Go. Let’s go everyone for pizza and we want you to come.”) You don’t want to be left out. You can use food to avoid intimacy or sex. Maybe you use food to avoid feeding or being fed. You procrastinated: (“I’ll have lunch first and then work on that report”).
You can eat while preparing the food and put it. Maybe because once you start you can’t stop. You might think, what the hell, I have it anyway. Maybe the food is used as a reward because you have done something wonderful, or a punishment because you have already overeat and figure What the hell, it will not make a difference. When you hear coffee in your office or popcorn in a movie, or fresh donuts in a bakery, do you stand in line? Do you use food as a meal extender? You have such a good time and you don’t want the evening to end so you order another cup of coffee, a cocktail, dessert. Be fun hosts. There is plenty of extra food and all those leftovers.
Going home to family is difficult for some. You may feel guilty that your family and friends have been cooking since last Thursday, and you have to taste (and comment) everything that is offered. Does the cook take offense if you don’t have seconds and thirds?
We eat differently when we are in the company of two people, three people, four people, more people. A recent study reported that people who ate with six or more other people consumed 78% more than those who ate alone. The more people there are, the more there is to offer.
The longer the food stays on the table, the more time you are tempted to eat.
Are you too tired to cook, so you choose to choose and convince yourself that you haven’t eaten anything?
A point to remember:
If it’s not water, it’s food.
And also this:
If you’ve eaten it, you’ve eaten it. Everything adds up.
Whether you overeat because of genetics, ethnicity, religion, circumstance or emotion doesn’t matter. Maybe you eat for some or all of these reasons. Every person gets into the habit of using food inappropriately by eating for reasons that tell you that it is good to eat, even if you are not hungry. After following these habits for so long – sometimes decades – they have become involuntary conditioned responses. Like Pavlov’s dogs, when a stimulus appears, can it be a yes, thank you, be away? The smart, you think you shouldn’t do what you do, but you can’t stop. This is the sneaky part of addiction – like deciding your mind will do the trick when it never has before. This might be the moment to make a list of the reasons you eat. Put the breadstick and take a pencil.
After seeing my list, a middle-aged woman said to me, “According to your program, I haven’t been hungry since 1963.” She was correct. She and you may have misidentified these situations, circumstances and emotions like hunger for so long, you have lost your innate ability to identify this most basic of feelings.
If you are trying to satisfy a physical hunger, your body does not need a large amount of food. If you’re trying to fill an emotional hunger, you can back up a truck full of food to your home or office, and it will never, ever, contain enough food. “Alright guys, put the Mallomars in the cupboard, the Häagen-Dazs in the freezer. The Twinkerdoodles go on the bed.”
If you become so overwhelmed, confused and paralyzed with not knowing what to do about this multi-faceted and layered topic of weight control that you can’t stop eating once you start, chances are you won’t do anything.
If you are hungry, you need to feed the body. If, by the way, it also tastes good, looks good and smells good, you have a bonus. But it should not be eaten because it looks, smells and tastes good. Almost everything fits this criteria.
If you are thirsty, drink water.
If you respond to one of the stimuli above, change your habits by creating new and constructive responses to replace your old and destructive ones. This is called repatterning.
I might have missed one of your Possible Pitfalls, but you get the idea. Add yours if it’s not here. Watch how you eat when you’re upstairs or downstairs, alone or with friends. We also eat differently with men, differently with women, and another way with children. These traps can be because of emotions, circumstances, or simply because there is or you are there, in the environment where your favorite thing is prepared like nowhere else in the world! Traps can be any of these things or all of these things.
None of the traps I described above is hunger. And if you are not hungry, it is not a reason to eat.
What Are Your Possible Pitfalls?
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